I can't be what I'm not

People have often called me a tomboy. A tomboy? But I could not and cannot not care less when people call me a tomboy. After all, what does the word mean? A girl who behaves in a boyish manner? A girl who does not fall under the "socially-constructed" definition of how a girl should and must behave? I am sorry but I cannot be what I am not. After all, these socially-constructed definitions are man-made. And man-made things change over time.

If I do not like wearing a lot of make-up and jewelry, I wonder how it bothers others. My favorite possessions are my watches, not my bracelets or bangles. But that's the way I am. I wear very little jewelry because I feel suffocated when I wear too much of them .

I do not have anything against anyone. It does not perturb me when I see girls wearing make-up and jewelry. As a matter of fact, most girls look more beautiful when they wear make-up and jewelry. It's just that I don't feel comfortable wearing them. Yes, I do wear make-up -- kajal, lipstick and that's all. The only time I remember I wore a lot of make-up and jewelry was when I got married.

When my friends and family saw me last year, they gave me looks of surprise. They said I did not look like a mother. But what did they mean by me not looking like a mother? Their definition of a mother is a serious-looking, overweight woman, who is constantly fussing over her child. No, I do not want to be that kind of a mother. I want to be my child's friend. I want to sing, dance, play and paint with her. Just because I gave birth to another human being it does not mean that I have to pretend to be someone else, someone that I seriously don't want to be.





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