Right after I became a mother, my mother was with me the first few months, and my husband was and continues to be a huge support, yet there were many days when I felt overwhelmed by the responsibilities which came along with our bundle of joy.
It seemed like I could no longer enjoy the simple pleasures of life-- watch a film, read a book, take a long shower, relish a good meal, or even sleep. In fact, whenever I managed some free time during the day, I would just slump into my bed and snooze, from exhaustion.
I would often hold my newborn in my arms, and wonder if a day would really come when I would be able to sleep 5 hours at a stretch, dreaming of getting a good night's sleep, which I could not get until my daughter turned 4 months.
Before she was born, we could go out anytime as there was no need to worry about another person's sleep routine or feeding schedule.
After she came, things changed of course. Her diaper bag became my purse, where I shoved in my cell phone, wallet, lipstick and such, along with her feeding bottles, diapers, wipes, tissues, changing pad, extra sets of clothing, baby formula and food, a flask of water, blankets, trash bags, and what not. It was like going on a picnic, but minus the fun. A simple purse to sling from my shoulder had become a luxury then.
Sometimes, I thought of the days when I had carried books in my handbag wherever I went -- it always felt good to have a book around. But after becoming a mother, I saw my reading habit disappear from my life. I no longer carried a book around, no longer bought books online and didn't even go to the local public library to borrow!
Thinking I must start reading again, I started downloading e-books to my tablet computer, only to realise that reading electronic books was not my cup of tea at all.
But my daughter will turn 4 very soon. And I think I am slowly going back to my old life to some extent. I have started buying and reading books once again – and it feels so good!
I have bid goodbye to the diaper bag, thank God! Now we can also make quick outing plans, and spend time out of home until late into the night. I can now also go to the bathroom without a kid pounding on the door!
Although it continues to be a roller-coaster ride, motherhood never ceases to teach me something new every day. Yes, I often have to say no to my desire to many simple pleasures, but at the end of the day, motherhood has also done good things to me, like making me more patient and compassionate.
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