Tame your tongue, fingers too

The Daily Star link
Date of publication: Sept. 1, 2015

The social media, particularly Facebook, has introduced me to a new world. A new world, yes, but a world that reeks of people's bad taste and poor choices. And a world that I wish I never stepped into. Welcome to the world of cussing!

Growing up, I was told by my parents that I should never use swear words because it is an extremely bad thing to do and that the Almighty does not love people who swear. As I grew up I realized that cussing is in no way a pleasant thing to do. But if I look at the world around me today, I see that cussing has become commonplace, especially among our youths. I have noticed this practice on Facebook, particularly on troll pages and fan pages of entertainers and athletes. People also swear at complete strangers on comment threads of various public Facebook posts. Swearers pretty much swear at everything and everyone even when nothing offensive or abusive is in sight. 

Why do they do this? 
Our education, upbringing and people we mingle with play important roles in whether we will swear in our everyday life or not. Have you ever seen a professor cussing in public? Perhaps not. Here in the U.S. and also in Bangladesh, I have seen parents swearing in front of small children. I have seen parents using the F-word as if it's a very casual word. It's very likely that children living in such homes will grow up, thinking that cussing publicly is a normal human behavior. They will take these profane words to school and teach other children as well. 

Psychologists think that swearing is often cathartic. In an article published on the website of PsychCentral, John M. Grohol, Psy.D., writes that we swear because "it frees us of the feelings of anger or frustration we hold and allows expression for them." So, should we conclude that people who verbally abuse other people on the social media are frustrated in real life? Do they lash out at other people because they are more successful, popular or privileged than them? Perhaps. 

Why is cursing bad? 
Cussing, cursing, swearing, or whatever we call it, is a bad practice. Swearing is bad because it reflects ignorance, immaturity, and a lack of character; it shows that a person has no control over himself; it sets a bad example for children and also other people; it reduces the respect people have for you; and it also makes you an unpleasant person to be with. Not only these, people who swear disrespect more people than they think; it changes a discussion into an argument; it also pollutes the environment, real and virtual alike. 

What can we do? 

Established in 1998, Cuss Control Academy is an organization based in Illinois, U.S., that offers presentations and classes on personal control of profanity. I went to their website where they have some useful tips for people who want to tame their tongue. I would also add fingers, because a lot of cussing now takes place on the social media, where people curse from their computers and cell phones. The recent incident that took place on cricketer Nasir Hossain's fan page is just one glaring example of how comfortably our young people now abuse other people and use profane words in the virtual space. 

According to CCA, the most important thing is to recognize that swearing is a harmful habit. Although cussing can sometimes be cathartic, the negatives of cussing outweigh the positives. People, who swear, must start by eliminating casual swearing from their everyday lexicon. They can ask the people around them to warn them every time they utter an expletive. 

Our languages are rich and colorful, and instead of using swear words we can choose alternative words to express our anger, frustration, sadness or pain. If we do that, we can express our emotions and at the same time, disrespect no one. Words once uttered cannot be taken back, and therefore we should think twice before opening our mouth. In the virtual world of course we can edit or delete an abusive comment and we should try doing this as often as we can. We don't dwell in a perfect world -- obstacles and hurdles will always be there and our aim should be to cope, not to complain. The less you complain, the less you will curse at people, things and situations. 

Humans are equipped with an ability to differentiate between right and wrong. Let's use this special ability to make the public space clean and profanity-free.