Growing up, my brother and I did not have too many toys. Our parents never bought us a lot of toys. They bought us books though. We would usually get toys when we did well in annual school exams. On one occasion I even bought a toy with the money that I saved up in a penny bank. Each toy was therefore very special. My mother still stores most of my big toys in Dhaka. I brought with me to the USA a Barbie doll that an uncle gave me many years ago, and a tattered stuffed Tweety. It was because we only had a handful of toys that we took such good care of them and that they are with us to this day. But kids today have rooms filled with toys. Every trip to a mall or department store means a new toy!
But when children have too many toys, they do not take care of them -- fewer toys teach children to take greater care of things. They also learn to value things when they have fewer toys. We, the parents, often think that by buying toys for our children we can show them how much we love them. But what we often overlook is that a parent's love cannot be associated with material things. Love can be shown by hugging, playing with and reading to your child. In short, you can show your love to your child by spending time with him. I once came across a Bangladeshi parent here in the USA who said with a big smile that his 4-year-old son bought toys worth $160 on his last visit to Toys R Us! Now, I think that is a lot of money to be spent on one trip to the toy store.
In Bangladesh as well as here in the USA, I have been to homes where children have far too many toys than they need or play with. I had been to houses where toys lay around in bedrooms, living rooms and even balconies. I asked a parent if her child played with so many toys. She replied, no. Then I suggested that she could donate some of the toys because her daughter was too old to play with many of them. She then said that she was saving them up for their second child -- they hoped to have another baby in a few years. So, some of us do not mind the mess at all.
But research has shown that kids with fewer toys learn to be creative and imaginative. These children use their basic surroundings to come up with new games, make-believe games. A child derives as much pleasure from a cardboard box as she/he does from an expensive kid tablet. To a small child, everything is new. Children do not know the difference between a toy and a non-toy. I was looking through my daughter's toy basket the other day and I discovered a bottle cap, a lip balm stick, a plastic bread tie, and an empty memory card case, none of which we put in her basket!
If you want to buy toys for your child, that is okay, but do not overwhelm your child with toys because in that way, your child does not learn to value what he has. When you do that you will also see that your child loses interest in a toy too quickly -- no, he does not care how much money you spent on it, he has no understanding of that. Therefore, hide some of the toys for later use in a place that is inaccessible to your child. Bring them out for him to play when you see that he has become bored of playing with the same toys day after day. Studies have also shown that when children have too many playthings, their brains become overstimulated and they cannot concentrate on one toy long enough to learn from it. So, too many toys may not be doing your child any good.
Instead of making your child spend time at home with her toys, take her outdoors. If there is no park in the neighborhood, take her to your rooftop. Let her use all your apartment space to run, frolic and play hide-and-seek.
I have been to birthday parties, where every guest presented the birthday boy/girl with some kind of toy. In one such party I was the only one who gave the birthday kid some books and a magic board -- that was even before I became a mother. I later wondered if my gifts appeared funny to the parents of the child and other guests. Nevertheless, I believe that books are the best kind of gifts. These days when I buy gifts for a child, I always try to buy at least one book.
Toys make up a multi-billion dollar industry. The toy makers will always want you to buy their toys but as a parent, it is your responsibility to set the boundaries for when, where, what and how many toys your child should play with.
By Wara Karim
The Daily Star link
January 14, 2014
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