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Should you let your baby cry?


Even before my baby was born, I heard two types of opinions from people I know. While one group opined that it was absolutely okay to let a baby cry, the other group (this group was much smaller in size) strongly debated against letting a baby cry. I thought that instead of listening to what others said, I should do my own research and find out why a baby cries, what should be done when a baby cries and what are the implications of letting a baby cry for prolonged periods of time.

From the local public library, I borrowed Dr. Jenn Berman’s “SuperBaby,” a Los Angeles Times bestseller.  Dr. Berman, a licensed psychotherapist, writes in her book that when a baby cries for prolonged periods of time the level of stress hormone cortisol increases in his body.  This cortisol can have dangerous effects on the growing brain a baby, inhibiting its normal development. Babies, who experience long crying episodes, lack confidence in themselves when they grow up. Distraught episodes in early months and years of life make a baby mistrust the world around him later in his life.

We all want smart babies! But if you want to raise a smart baby, know that babies learn best when they feel safe. And to make a baby feel safe, skin-to-skin contact with her mother or primary caregiver is very important. So, if you see your baby in distress, pick her up and soothe her. I always try this on my baby and believe it or not, she usually stops crying in less than a minute.

At birth, a baby’s brain has more than 100 billion neurons. In his first years, he will grow trillions of neural synapses or brain-cell connections. What excessive cortisol does is it kills these neurons. And once these neurons are lost, they are lost forever. So, it is very important for a parent to respond to a child’s cries. According to Dr. Darcia Narvaez, a professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame, Indiana, USA, it is not normal for a baby to cry. She says that a baby cries when his need is not met. “We know now that leaving babies to cry is a good way to make a less intelligent, less healthy but more anxious, uncooperative and alienated person who can pass the same or worse traits on to the next generation,” Dr. Narvaez writes in an article titled “Dangers of Crying It Out.”

A baby generally cries when he is hungry, sleepy, has a wet diaper or simply because he wants to be cuddled. Whatever the reason is, as a parent, it is your responsibility to soothe your crying baby -- you certainly want to protect your infant and his growing brain and body from any harm. In our home, we do not let the baby cry, we rush to her if we see her in discomfort.  

Studies have shown that letting a baby cry not only inhibits her brain’s normal development but also compromises her immune system and can make her impulsive, violent and emotionally unattached in the future. The less a baby cries, the more she thinks that the world around her is a safe place. Such a baby grows up to be a confident and independent individual. As parents, we should try to raise children, who can make a difference in the world. "If you really, really don't want a baby to make any difference, you could try not having one," Penelope Leach, a prominent British psychologist, said in a 2010 interview with The Guardian about the brain-damaging effects of cortisol on babies. 

So the days of letting a baby cry are gone. As the mother, you understand your child more than anyone else in the world. So, do not always listen to what other women say, no matter how old or experienced they are. Plenty of resources are available online for free. Therefore, set some time aside to read and find out more about what is and can be good for your baby. Together, we can raise a generation of healthy babies.

The Daily Star link
Date: December 22, 2013 

By Wara Karim




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