Even before my baby was born, I heard two types of opinions
from people I know. While one group opined that it was absolutely okay to let a
baby cry, the other group (this group was much smaller in size) strongly
debated against letting a baby cry. I thought that instead of listening to what
others said, I should do my own research and find out why a baby cries, what
should be done when a baby cries and what are the implications of letting a
baby cry for prolonged periods of time.
From the local public library, I borrowed Dr. Jenn Berman’s
“SuperBaby,” a Los Angeles Times bestseller.
Dr. Berman, a licensed psychotherapist, writes in her book that when a
baby cries for prolonged periods of time the level of stress hormone cortisol
increases in his body. This cortisol can
have dangerous effects on the growing brain a baby, inhibiting its normal
development. Babies, who experience long crying episodes, lack confidence in
themselves when they grow up. Distraught episodes in early months and years of
life make a baby mistrust the world around him later in his life.
We all want smart babies! But if you want to raise a smart
baby, know that babies learn best when they feel safe. And to make a baby feel
safe, skin-to-skin contact with her mother or primary caregiver is very
important. So, if you see your baby in distress, pick her up and soothe her. I
always try this on my baby and believe it or not, she usually stops crying in
less than a minute.
At birth, a baby’s brain has more than 100 billion neurons.
In his first years, he will grow trillions of neural synapses or brain-cell
connections. What excessive cortisol does is it kills these neurons. And once
these neurons are lost, they are lost forever. So, it is very important for a
parent to respond to a child’s cries. According to Dr. Darcia Narvaez, a
professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame, Indiana, USA, it is
not normal for a baby to cry. She says that a baby cries when his need is not
met. “We know now that leaving
babies to cry is a good way to make a less intelligent, less healthy but more
anxious, uncooperative and alienated person who can pass the same or worse
traits on to the next generation,” Dr. Narvaez writes in an article titled
“Dangers of Crying It Out.”
A baby generally cries when he is hungry, sleepy, has a wet
diaper or simply because he wants to be cuddled. Whatever the reason is, as a parent,
it is your responsibility to soothe your crying baby -- you certainly want to
protect your infant and his growing brain and body from any harm. In our home,
we do not let the baby cry, we rush to her if we see her in discomfort.
Studies have shown that letting a baby cry not only inhibits
her brain’s normal development but also compromises her immune system and can
make her impulsive, violent and emotionally unattached in the future. The less
a baby cries, the more she thinks that the world around her is a safe place.
Such a baby grows up to be a confident and independent individual. As parents,
we should try to raise children, who can make a difference in the world. "If you really, really don't want a baby to make
any difference, you could try not having one," Penelope Leach, a prominent
British psychologist, said in a 2010 interview with The Guardian about the
brain-damaging effects of cortisol on babies.
So the days of letting a baby cry are gone. As the mother,
you understand your child more than anyone else in the world. So, do not always
listen to what other women say, no matter how old or experienced they are.
Plenty of resources are available online for free. Therefore, set some time aside
to read and find out more about what is and can be good for your baby. Together,
we can raise a generation of healthy babies.
The Daily Star link
Date: December 22, 2013
The Daily Star link
Date: December 22, 2013
By Wara Karim
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