LIFE AS IT IS

We see what we want to see - we exclude the visual details that inconvenience us. -Wara

I was just reading a write-up by a friend on Falgun (the Bengali month that marks the beginning of spring in Bangladesh) where he compared the season and the festivity around it with Vincent van Gogh's "Wheatfield with Crows." A prolific writer, my friend's writing carried me back to the Falguni days I left behind in Dhaka. Years come and go but I do not get a chance to watch and enjoy the Falguni festivity, something that I so looked forward to in Dhaka. I would always wear something yellow, never a sari though. I am still not comfortable in a sari. I would just wear a yellow salwar kameez and a dozen or so glass bangles. No, no flowers. I cannot recall tucking a flower ever in my hair. Don't get me wrong - I love flowers! I like to give and receive flowers. Anyway, I used to see girls on my college campus and on the streets wearing a yellow rose or a strand of marigold, or just a single marigold in the hair - they looked beautiful! Young men would wear orang...

I don't want to be judged by you or anyone else. You took your journey and I took mine - I do not know what your journey was like and you do not know about mine. So, let's not judge each other! -Wara

Thank God, no one can see what's on our minds! -Wara

Friendship is pouring your heart out to someone and not fearing a breach of trust. -Wara

While many Dhakaites were busy getting ready to celebrate the New Year's eve, South Asian Youth Society (SAYS) chose the last day of 2013 to launch one of its most successful projects of recent times, "Sharing Warmth - Connecting Humans for a Humane Cause." After spending ten grueling days to collect funds, finding sponsors and other interested community organizations to join their cause, and buying winter clothes and blankets, the young SAYS members reached out to the winter-affected people of Kurigram, Netrokona and Mymensingh. On Jan. 10, SAYS distributed 6,000 pieces of warms clothing and blankets in Mymensingh and Netrokona, marking the end of the first phase of their project. On Jan. 18, the members distributed another 2,000 pieces of warm clothes and blankets in three different areas of Kurigram, one of the districts hit worst by the recent spells of cold wave. They also distributed winter clothes and blankets among the 96 students of Rikta Akter Banu Budhhi...

Nothing can beat the experience of shopping at a brick-and-mortar store, where you have the convenience of actually seeing, touching and feeling the merchandise. The whole brick-and-mortar shopping experience can also have a relaxing effect on some people -- commonly known as retail therapy. But once you become a parent, you have to make so many adjustments. For example, I have switched from brick-and-mortar to online shopping, not entirely though. This winter I bought clothes online for the first time. This is something I never did before because I always like trying on my clothes before buying them. The first purchase was a disaster, for I ordered all the wrong sizes. I had to go to the mall a week later to have them exchanged. Needless to say that the money I paid to have the clothes shipped went down the drain. Another problem with electronic shopping is you often do not understand what the color or material of a clothing is like until you see it in person -- I too made that m...

Growing up, my brother and I did not have too many toys. Our parents never bought us a lot of toys. They bought us books though. We would usually get toys when we did well in annual school exams. On one occasion I even bought a toy with the money that I saved up in a penny bank. Each toy was therefore very special. My mother still stores most of my big toys in Dhaka. I brought with me to the USA a Barbie doll that an uncle gave me many years ago, and a tattered stuffed Tweety. It was because we only had a handful of toys that we took such good care of them and that they are with us to this day. But kids today have rooms filled with toys. Every trip to a mall or department store means a new toy! But when children have too many toys, they do not take care of them -- fewer toys teach children to take greater care of things. They also learn to value things when they have fewer toys. We, the parents, often think that by buying toys for our children we can show them how much we love them...

In this age of tablets and smart phones, children's love for books is perhaps declining. I see children as young as two years old spending time on their parents' iPhones and Galaxy tablets. So people often think I am old-fashioned when I say that I don't allow my child to play with my electronic devices. What I have been trying to do since I became a mother is spark my daughter's interest in books. Her grandmother bought her her first book, which was a big fat book of bedtime nursery rhymes. I read that book to her every day the first few months of her life. Then I grew tired and thought, why don't I just buy more books for her? In that way, I would not get bored of reading the same thing over and over again. My daughter now has about a dozen books. She knows her books so well that she can separate hers from mine. I don't know if she is a bookworm in the making but she sits with her books every day to flip their pages and look at the pictures that she likes....

Bangladeshi, Indian and Pakistani expats in the U.S. have asked us why we have not considered buying a house yet. For the expats, owning an independent house in a foreign country is a life event. Most of these expats have families back home who live in apartments - a three- or four-bedroom house in the U.S. is therefore something many dream of. And once such a house is bought, they proudly talk about it with their extended families. But then, every individual is different. I personally like living in apartments - I don't cate if it is small or big as long as it is decent-looking and in a safe neighborhood. Why? I am not lazy but I am not just motivated enough to mow lawn in summer and snowplow driveways in winter. In an apartment, the property management hires people for these chores and many others. Then think of the trouble and cost one has to bear when a faucet stops working, a bathroom drain becomes clogged or a door knob breaks. In an apartment, when something goes wrong,...

This world is teeming with zealous and overzealous people, people who think that their cause is the only cause that is worth fighting for. But, is that true? Our zeal should not override our common sense. If you think your cause is "the best cause" then probably, your cause is not worth fighting for. There is nothing called "the best cause." Zeal affects your vision. Zeal turns you blind. If your cause makes you a blind man then your cause is also not worth fighting for. This world does not need people who are blind by choice. Zealous people can only go so far because their cause drives them in a direction from where they cannot see what others, not affiliated with their cause, want or see. In a situation like this, even if your cause succeeds, you cannot achieve much. How far can your really go when half of your countrymen are against your cause? Sometimes, we are so occupied with our cause that we distance ourselves from reality. We launch campaigns and e...